Me......Homeschool????

I just love being taken by surprise, don't you? Last night, I attended my 100th Religious Formation Meeting for one of my kids.........this time...it was Connor. It was a parent/student meeting for the Phase 1 stage of Confirmation. A pure joy for every 15-year old Catholic boy (and girl!) in America.

Connor is closing in on the last two years of Religious Formation (CCD) classes of his blessed little life! I got him there, kicking and screaming, and then we settled into our chosen seats (about 10 rows back---not too close to the front..but not too far back to make us seem like losers). In any case.......since Brittany just made her Confirmation this past year, and I was a Confirmation Mentor (in my spare time) I already knew what to expect.

Connor is going to hate every second (and I do mean every second) of this process. It is touchy-feely and he is a boy.........a shy boy.........and sitting in a group and sharing why Jesus is important to him is going to just about kill him! But......we are Roman Catholics........this is what we do.

Therefore..........I arrived like the good Catholic Mom that I am....getting there 7 minutes before the meeting started....filling out all the necessary paperwork, and then took my seat.........rumpled hair, no make-up, wrinkled jeans and rain coat (yes, it was pouring) and a pair of top-of-the line Birkenstock sandles on my freshly painted toe nails! Go ahead people......tell this good Catholic girl, mother of eight, what she doesn't already know about the Confirmation process!

One hour into it, we take a break. Out of nowhere, and I do mean nowhere, three rumpled hair earth mamas swooped right over in my direction and began chattering up a storm. Connor made an immedite exit to the snack table as this was way out of his comfort zone.

Now, keep in mind......I was married in this parish, left for a few years because we moved, but have been back for 15 year's now. I also teach First Communion classes (for 10 years now) and somehow.....manage to wrangle up my family and get them to 8 AM Mass each weekend. I'm not bragging here, really!

The earth mamas were new to me....have never seen them before at Mass, but they must've thought they smelled granola on my breath (it was really a bad glass of Riesling!) and thought they had a live one! They cut right to the chase............do I believe in homeschooling? Yikes!! They are asking the wrong mother!

This is a set-up, I thought to myself. I was very cautious in the words I chose............but I chose them very quickly. "No".

I then went into my "cover thy ass" mode.....explaining that I think mothers that homeschool are just marvels.....but it's not for me. Why--they ask?

Why? Because I have eight kids under the age if 16 and I have never believed in eating my young. Does that about sum it up? They didn't think it was quite as funny as I did.....but I wasn't too far off. I love my kids, I really do.....but I am the daughter of two school teachers, so is my husband............and I could never do them justice if I tried to be their mother and their teacher. Some of us just know that. My hat goes off to those who want to homeschool......it's just not my bag!

They didn't hang around too long after they heard my response. I'm sure they were mightily disappointed that a woman like myself was now giving Birkenstocks a bad name.........so next time I wear them......I must remember to put on my false lashes and paint on my lips, and I won't drink cheap wine before I wear them either!