Ahh! Spring is in the air and what better way to celebrate this fresh new season than to spiffy up my wardrobe of undergarments? I realized how necessary this was this morning when I opened my underwear drawer and couldn’t tell if I the contents held my undies or our dishrags. “That’s it!” I shuddered. Every woman deserves to know that the apparel covering up her crack isn’t going to be confused for a housekeeping item—it’s time to go shopping!
As an active mom of eight, I sheepishly debate between sliding into Wal-mart where I can casually tuck a few packages of Hanes Her Way into my cart or really throw caution to the wind and rush to the Mall where a real lingerie department carrying more than a one-crotch- fits- all line, in colors other than puce and taupe, awaits me! Is there really any question? The mall it is!
I arrived without incident where the smell of heavenly grease quickly wafted by—ummm, must be fried dough I quivered as I headed past the food court to the escalator (can’t ride one of those in Wal-Mart).
“Excuse me Madame,” said this very sultry giraffe (I’m sorry, but she was tall!) in the intimidating cosmetic department. “You look like you could use a makeover!” Wonder what tipped her off first, the fact that I was using concealer to cover up my roots or the red Sharpie I used as my lip liner?
“Sorry, but I’m on my way upstairs to shop,” I nodded towards the escalator. “Oh, new panties for you today?” Panties? Who the heck with eight kids wears panties? If I walk out of here with those today I could end up with nine kids!
I’m left with no choice--think I’ll go have that dough -boy and then head over to Wal-mart!
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